Megaton Present
by Aki-sensei
Summary: Fangirls and OOC, best day for Itachi right? Warning: OOC and flashbacks!
1. Chapter 1

**Yay! Happy Birthday Itachi-san, here's a present for you, even is... a lot of days late I think...oh well I was in final exams, besides I haven't read Fire's stories...wahhh! THANKS I'M ALREADY DONE Oh yeah... this is for you freaking fan girl of Itachi...hehehe enjoy! (she will get it)**

**(Warning: OOC, BEWARE OF THE POWER OF OOC AND FLASHBACKS)**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto...or the rabid fan girl...that's a character of Ran... well she will understand what I'm trying to say, I do own that damn watch... must be around here somewhere...**

* * *

Not soy young Uchiha Itachi was walking around Akatsuki's…err…lair? Yeah that could work, well he was bored and somehow sad, ok that's creepy for me, he was a little sad because tomorrow was June 9th and it seems nobody remembered it, not even her biggest and unbelievable alive rabid fan girl named Ran…-sigh- so, not so young Itachi took a look to his Mickey Mouse watch, it was 5:05 pm, 'Hum' not so young Itachi thought 'I could take a nap now and later go dinner' and not so young Itachi went to take a nap, with no idea of what the other members of Akatsuki were planning... (Which is weird because, is Itachi! He can know it, but in my fic he's a little...idiot, so you may think now, 'Is a surprise party for Itachi is predictable' I know it is damn it!) 

And they were planning...

Sasori: LET'S GO TO THE AMUSEMENT PARK

Deidara: That's boring

Sasori: No its not! I have fun last time

Kisame: You killed the line for the roller coaster…and the line for the house of mirrors and the line for the bumping cars and…

Ran: The amusement park is a great idea Sasori-san!

**(A/N:You remember I said ooc right? Right)**

Sasori: HA! Someone is agree with me

Kisame: Give me a break

Ran went to wake up not so young Itachi... poor one, I was talking about not so young Itachi not Ran... that's ummm IMPOSSIBLE...well back to the "awakening"

Ran: ITACHI-KUN!

Not so young Itachi jumped from the bed because of the yelling

Itachi: WHAT THE HELL! Oh, it's you-sigh-

Ran: -glomping Itachi- Dinner's ready!

Not so young Itachi was already used to the glomping part and walked to the kitchen with Ran stick to him...

THE NEXT DAY...

Now the less young Itachi was waking up when...

Insane voices: HAPPY BIRTHDAY UCHIHA ITACHI! -insert your favorite Happy Bday song-

The less young Itachi really jumped of surprise –sigh- poor boy

**(A/N: Ok, for less complications it will be now old Itachi, easier to write)**

Itachi: WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU! –checking the hour in his Mickey mouse watch- ITS 10 IN THE MORNING! AND FRIDAY!

Everybody: Is your birthday! –Stare at the watch-

Sasori: Is that a... Mickey Mouse watch?

Deidara: Dude that's odd, where did you get that?

Itachi: starts thinking

**FLASHBACK WARNING!**

A young Uchiha Itachi of 5 years old was running around his house and playing with a chicken wing **(A/N: Blackmail pictures and I'm really starving, so there is your reason for a chicken wing!)**, suddenly her mother appeared from the kitchen

Itachi's mother: (ugh…I don't remember her name) Itachi, sweetie, why are you playing with that? Is the dinner honey

Itachi: But mommy I have nobody to play for my birthday and daddy didn't give me a present

Itachi's mother: Don't worry sweetie he'll give you something

-Suddenly a chicken passed-

Itachi's father: appeared from nowhere Young man, I have something for you!

Itachi: jumping Weee! What is it daddy? glomping his father **(CHECK THE REALLY OOC)**

Itachi's father took a box from his pocket and gave it to Itachi, he opened it and...

Itachi: IT'S MICKEY MOUSE!

**-End flashbacks- (Before more ooc insanity!)**

Itachi: Not of your business

Ran: -glomping old Itachi- Well LET'S GO FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY PRESENT!

Itachi: NOT THE AQUARIUM AGAIN!

**Flashback:**

Young Itachi was with the Akatsuki's idiots wandering in the aquarium because Kizame's bday...

Kizame: THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE!

Deidara and Sasori stared at Kisame with a wtf look while Ran was nodding with Kizame...and...where is young Itachi? Oh right, he was pocking a weird fish

Sasori: I wouldn't do that if I were you

Itachi: Oh shut up what would happen?

The fish bited young Itachi's middle finger... so what you can see is a really crazy and young Itachi running like a phsyco with Kizame running after him trying to calm him and Ran taking pictures of it...

-End of flashback-

Everybody promised it wasn't the aquarium...for old Itachi's sake.

Itachi: So, if it is not the aquarium... where is it?

Everybody smiled innocently... ok innocent is not the exact word for the smile they were doing it was more... evil, yeah evil, but old Itachi can't recognize the difference between evil and innocent... oh well

The Akatsuki's covered old Itachi's eyes and knocked him out... how did they do that? Easy, Deidara took old Itachi's watch and obviously distracted him...easy! Doesn't sound? Oh come on... is easy!

Itachi: GET THIS THING OFF ME!

Ran: But Itachi-kun you would ruin the surprise!

Itachi: AGH!

(Ok, now that's a really OOC)

-37 minutes and 13 wrestling minutes later... that's about... ummm 50 minutes-...

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**Now here is the end for part 1! Yay, please read it and tell me what you think, because this is my first Akatsuki fanfic... and, well you know the rest! and...I know it's stupid but I made it because I was thinking what to give to that old man... well not that old-sigh-**


	2. A nice driving and alarm clocks

**Me: So...what? Is chapter 2 right? I rewrite it because my assistant –cough- secretary didn't updated it**

**Kakashi: That's not funny you know**

**Me: It is funny now lets keep this rolling!**

**Kakashi: Ok, you should stop drinking rum**

**Me: Rum? This is not rum is...umm...is soda**

**Kakashi: Yeah...give me that**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto...so obviously don't own the characters!**

* * *

Old Itachi was tied up inside a black minivan with red clouds on the doors… classy, he was nervous, why? Because he didn't know who was driving (Ran with a big bottle of **MY RUM** next to her)…and someone forgot to button his belt and Deidara took his mickey watch, ok that sounded like a kidnapping thing but back to the main point, he was more nervous because…

Sasori: Can we put some music?

**-Insert physco music-**

Kizame: -Turning channels on radio- I like this one

"The Beat of my heart" by Hilary Duff

Itachi: NO!

Deidara: Is his birthday so change it... un

"Stupid Girl" by Pink

Itachi: Seriously are you that dense with my music likes?

Everybody rolled their eyes

Sasori: Give me that I know what to do –placing a cd

"Barbie Girl" by Aqua

Itachi: You just...oh forget it, can I have my watch now?

Deidara: You don't need it you are technically blind...un

Itachi: Well tell me the hour

Kisame: Is ten in the morning

Sasori: You genius! You didn't change it! Is eleven!

Kisame: Why?

Sasori: Summer time dude, have some general knowledge in your mind

Deidara: That's not how you say it...un

Old Itachi just kept silent while he was repeating inside his mind over and over again… 'Why did I wake up today? I swear I turned off the damn alarm clock those rabid baboons gave me last year...'

**FLASHBACKS…HOLD ON YOUR EYES! SOME BLOOD WILL SPILL**

Not that old Uchiha Itachi was walking around Akatsuki's…err…lair? Yeah that could work, well he was bored and... Hey hold on, this sounds like the beginning of chapter...oh never mind that, you may think now 'Dude, what's wrong with her?' Blame my cute assistant not me...so...

Not that old Itachi was having a bad day because

a) He woke up late and missed breakfast

b) Kisame finished all the hot water and there won't be until 3 days

c) Deidara and Sasori accidentally spilled Mountain Dew over Itachi's favourite cloak... can't say if it was the fact of spilling Mountain Dew or the cloak here

d) He received a package of chilli hot margaritas and he is allergic to them

Because of that he was in a bad mood, grumpy, hungry, dirty, somehow sweet but that's because the Mountain Dew and not less important...itchy, and to finish the play...

Ran: ITACHI-KUN!

Itachi: -sigh- Stay away

Poor did he knows that fan girls usually glomp their victims after the calling name...I should be hired to Animal Planet because of this, well Ran glomped not so old Itachi and...

Itachi: Get...off...me

And she tried to but...

Ran: Itachi-kun I'm somehow glued to your cloak isn't that destiny?

Not so old Itachi just reached to the nearest wall and started hitting himself

Itachi: Why I don't PASS OUT?

Sasori appeared with a giant rock and...well the last thing not so old Itachi heard was " Don't worry pal I'll help you!" you can figure out the rest

The next morning...

A beeping sound invaded the room, not so old Itachi thought it was an Australian mosquito so he ignored it, poor did he knows that...

Massive voice: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ITACHI!

Not so young Itachi literally jumped out of bed and into the second floor

Kisame: Wow, that's a record

Deidara: And you said the alarm clock would help here...un

**End Flashback**

Old Itachi just sighed, it was just eleven in the morning, only thirteen hours left if my math is still sane, they will go to the torture park, amusement park sorry and everything will be fine at the end of the day, fortunately they wouldn't hurt someone, there won't be Australian mosquitoes or chilli hot margaritas growing there...right? he is going to be fine right?

* * *

**Me: And...that's the end here I will continue tomorrow or Monday…**

**Kakashi: You mean you will make me continue**

**Me: ...Kind of well you know how this works, R&R and flames will be used for the fire in POTC2 if you have seen it you know what I mean... poor Captain Sparrow...**

**Kakashi: Quit that...**

**Me: Hey where's my rum?**

**Kakashi: They have it...**

**Me: Oh bugger...**


	3. Happy place

**Me: So...hi! please raise your hand if you hate my computer –raising hands-**

**Kakashi: -sigh-**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto ...oh yeah and I don't own the character of the crazy fan girl, thanks I don't! –evil glare from the owner- eek!**

* * *

So, last time we saw our "hero" he was tied up in a van listening the Barbie Girl song, but he just tried to think in other song named...

Kizame: Are you humming "My candyman"?

Itachi: What? No, I'm just sighing my pain

Sasori: You are humming the song

Itachi: -sigh-

-After 36 minutes, 24 seconds, and 16 minutes again (parking)-

Kizame untied old Itachi's eyes and revealed... a high version of Six Flags dedicated to anime characters... an amusement park!

Itachi: What in the name of...!

Ran: -Glomping- HAPPY BIRTHDAY ITACHI-KUN!

Itachi: 'Go to your happy place; go to your happy place'

**General knowledge: Old Itachi's happy place is an open field with fluffy white clouds dancing the "Macarena" around some pink lilies and inviting him to dance as well, so when he starts dancing somepurple sausages come and start a fire for a big meal full of Italian tomatoes that play soccer against some French potatoes and the Italian tomatoes always win, just like the world cup by the way, old Itachi is a big fan of the Italian soccer team but he doesn't care if the world cup ended a long time ago, sorry french people, maybe in four years but I will always support MEXICO! and that has nothing to do with Itachi's happy place...**

Sasori: So... are we going or not?

And everybody dragged old Itachi to the torture park... I mean amusement park! Damn, sometimes you have some confusion because is easy to have fun and horror in parks like those; I remember when I was 9...no wait I was 8, well the point is...

Kizame: We don't care of that!

Me: Ok, I got it! Geez you are really grumpy so Kakashi-sensei you take my place! –disappears-

Itachi: I can't believe I'm saying this but could you please take me out of here?

Kakashi: If I do that it would be the end of the story and no one of your fan girls would love that, they sort of love how the authors make you have some moments where you end up looking "kawaii" or things like that to take pictures for their sanctuaries and...

Itachi: You want to feel the power of my sharingan?

Kakashi:-sigh- The happy place Itachi, I know about it and I can destroy it

And with that he poofed away, old Itachi's eyes softened a little – that's not so common- when Kakashi-sensei threatened him with his happy place.

Itachi: -scream to the air- NO ONE CAN TOUCH MY HAPPY PLACE!

A chibi boy who was eating some cotton candy died because the scream; apparently he had a bug inside of him that was controlling his brain and screams disturbed it, poor boy, oh well... one less in world population

Deidara: So where are we going first...un?

Sasori: Let's go to the House of Horror!

Ran: You should let Itachi-kun to choose first!

Sasori: But he's in the moon!

Kizame: You just want to see your puppet friends that's all

Sasori: I bet you are scared to enter!

Kizame: WHAT! REPEAT THAT

Itachi: 'The happy place, go to the freaking happy place!'

A chibi form of old Itachi travelled to the open field but... he hit a big yellow sign that said "Close for renovations" and in the back of the sign were two chibi forms of workers eating a sandwich and drinking coffee.

Both chibi and old Itachi: NO!

Seems like there were more bugs around the park, 4 kids died and I'm talking about kids, not the damn company that destroys good anime but I wish that...

Kizame: You want to prove that I'm not scared of that house of girly dolls! FINE WE ARE GOING THERE FIRST!

Sasori: OK THEN! YOU WON'T LAST A MINUTE THERE!

Kizame: SHUT UP!

Sasori: NO YOU SHUT UP!

And between Sasori and Kizame, poor old Itachi was dragged to the House of Horror, who knows what will happen then, will old Itachi survive? What will happen with the girly doll friends of Sasori? ...

* * *

**Kakashi: So, you ended here?**

**Me: Is a cliff hanger no one will die for a cliff hanger...right?**

**Kakashi: Watch the news later...**

**Me: Boring...can I have rum now?**

**Kakashi: No**


End file.
